Passed out drunk 06

Captain Mindsword

Chapter OneEdit

Captain Mindsword and his newly aquired crew member, the Green Alien Vixen are back in the Free R.A.T.I.O. in the cockpit, orbiting Earth. They stare blankly at the horizon and go over to the radio. Picking it up, Captain Mindsword says "Mr President, your time is up. My battleship is in position over your cities and if you do not pay me the $1 million within the hour, I will destroy New York."


Ensign Jimmy Higgins

The President laughs at the $1 million demand. Instead, he orders a military assault on Captain Mindsword that costs the nation $10 billion. The Captain realizes he should've never listened to Chief Engineer Sawyers plan. He quickly jumps to the controls, and they plunge down towards the surface, yelling frantically "Damn you and your corrupt warmongering government, why couldnt you use even just 10 percent of that money for healthcare and education!? Damn you republicaaaaaaaaansssssss......."

After a long struggle against incoming missiles, they crash down in Roswell, New Mexico, and are quickly surrounded by government agents. Ensign Jimmy Higgins and the Green Alien Vixen grab for the laser guns and start blasting at them while the Captain and Chief Engineer Sawyer desperately try to get the ship working again.


Chief Engineer Tom Sawyer - Mechanical genious

Ensign Jimmy Higgins - Macho handyman

Captain Mindsword - Intoxicated gangleader

Green Alien Vixen - Slutty intergalactic traveler